The New Normal – is it really new, is it really normal?
Introduction September 21, 2012
Normal’ is defined in many different ways. Normal is determined by a standard that we have set for ourselves and our situation. These standards are based on the values we use to make decisions each day.
In his book, One Hour with God, Injoy, Inc 1994, John Maxwell defines values:
“Values are the things in life that are most important to you. They are the guideposts and convictions that shape your decisions, actions, and everyday lifestyle.”
“Values are an issue of the heart. They begin there and express themselves in your actions.”
Over the next several weeks we will discover what God has to say about determining ‘Normal’ and how living it out can bring consistency and peace of mind into a person’s life.
Finding My Balance September 21, 2012
It has always been important to me to do what is right, and follow the rules. Until my last year in college I do not ever remember consciously breaking the rules. However, during that last year my boyfriend and I stole a kiss in the school parking lot, and then later became engaged. On graduation night I snuck out of the girl’s dorm with a few friends and drove over to the local doughnut shop. Yes, these were all against the school rules. I must explain that the school year was 1969 -1970, and we were attending a very good Bible College.
Now as I look back I understand that as a child and teen I made my decisions based on what I believed my parents and those in authority would want me to do. Pleasing my family, obeying rules, and telling the truth were all high on my priority list. Today we would say that these were my core values; they were important to me, and guided my decisions. I didn’t realize it at the time, but with the adventure into “breaking the rules” my values were beginning to change. This was not necessarily a bad thing.
I didn’t understand the concept of living according to my core values until I was in my 40’s. Until then, I didn’t realize that identifying the qualities and aspects of life that were most important to me would be one of the most freeing things I could do for myself. Once I realized this, and was given the steps to do this, making decisions was made much easier, and my life is not nearly so hectic. I’ve learned ‘how’ and ‘when’ and ‘why’ to say ‘yes’, and when to say ‘no’.
It all began at a breakfast gathering of business women. The speaker talked about bringing the right balance into our lives. She had us identify all of the roles that we played throughout a week. Mine was extensive; wife, mom of 3 teenage boys and two pre-teen girls, gardener, cook, home maker, leader in my church, daughter, sister, daughter-in-law, aunt, and friend - all while being employed full time! No wonder I felt my plate was full and very un-balanced!
Lynn Smith, the speaker, then handed us a sheet of paper with dozens of words listed in alphabetical order. She asked us to put a checkmark beside the ten words that we would consider were very important to us. Then she said to look over those ten words and circle five that we could not live without. These were words like Truth, Justice, Family, Environment, Ability, and Independence. Lived out, each word would enhance anyone’s life. She explained that there could be no wrong decisions in this exercise. It was simply a way to become aware of why we make the choices we do. Going through this exercise was my first step in a series that brought order to the choices I made. This was my first step in bringing balance into my life, discerning “what really matters” and helping me to find my New Normal.
And I pray this: that your love will keep on growing in knowledge and every kind of discernment, so that you can determine what really matters and can be pure and blameless in the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that [comes] through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God. Philippians 1:9-11 HCSB 2004
My Anchor October 5, 2012
Normal, so what is “normal”? A dictionary definition of “Normal” states:
Usual: conforming to the usual standard, type, or custom
Healthy: physically, mentally, and emotionally healthy
Occurring Naturally: maintained or occurring in a natural state
When we look back on the history of nations and cultures, we will often see that what was normal, the standard, type or custom during one century, was quite different in the next. This resulted in a “new normal.” Styles change, technology evolves and knowledge expands, all leading to “new normals”.
We all are thankful that most of the styles that were normal in the 60s have faded away. We are equally glad that new technology has brought us dishwashers, computers and cell phones. Knowledge continues to expand. One point of truth we would have defended 50 years ago has been proven to be false today. The premise of that truth has been turned upside down. You may recall the “home” remedy popular when in the 50s was to apply butter to a burn. We now know this does nothing to help, but can actually make the burn worse. Soothing cool water helps a burn so much more.
There are trends in culture that are out of my sphere of influence. I don’t decide what New York and Paris will introduce as fashion for next year. I don’t have the expertise to contribute to advancements in technology. And I don’t have the education to aid in the expansion of most of the knowledge base that exists today. But, I do have a Source of knowledge that has proven the test of time. It helps me evaluate culture, technology and current trends in ideas and thoughts.
The values taught in Scripture are values that never go out of style, and are values that benefit all people. These values help us filter life. They are a guide to recognizing what the “standard” should be. These values help us comprehend how to achieve good physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health. God’s Word reminds that He designed the world in its perfect state - before disobedience changed the world forever. The values taught in Biblical Scriptures function as an anchor, designed to keep us from sliding, and moving into dangerous waters.
Hebrews 6:18
“We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure.” NIV 1984
Dear Heavenly father, I depend upon Your Word to instruct me and guide me to choose values that reflect Your love and purpose for my life. Thank you for your Word, an anchor for my soul, helping to keep my life firm and secure.
“Me First…Choose Me…” October 16, 2012
Remember raising your hand in school and wanting to be chosen first for a preferred activity, or to be the first to receive a treat? Sometimes I still display this selfish attitude as an adult. I want to be first. First to grab the best parking spot, first in line at the cash register, first to post news on Facebook or Twitter.
This series of postings looks at the values that make a difference in my life. I’m looking at the values that help me make right choices.
Jesus’ words which are recorded in “The Sermon on the Mount” speak of values and behaviour that seemed strange to those who heard them for the first time that day. Christ’s teachings turn many of the values that seem normal, upside down.
Matthew 5:3 “Blessed are the poor in spirit for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” (NKV)
Many scholars have debated this sermon, and this verse. Many believe that “poor in spirit” refers to “spiritual bankruptcy”. Some believe it also refers to a humble heart. I see the validity in both of these views.
When I do not reflect a humble attitude, it may be an indication of a deeper spiritual problem.
Happy, are those who have a humble, contrite attitude. They understand that without the help of Christ they are spiritually bankrupt. When I live with this attitude and spirit, I can know that I will enjoy God’s Kingdom of Heaven. (Debi’s paraphrase of Matthew 5:3)
Most of us know people who are humble, not weak or self effacing, but those who actually put the needs and comforts of others before their own.
It’s easy to respond to a national disaster. The world has seen many disasters in the last several years; 911, Katrina, the Tsunami, Japan’s Earthquake and flooding, Haiti’s earthquake. It seems that every few weeks there are reports of a new crisis. Sending money, supplies and even going to help is something we just do as North Americans. There is usually something I am able to share in these situations.
But what about day-to-day living? Do I show the same concern and patience for the person who takes my parking space? Do I wait, without complaints for the sales clerk who makes a mistake, or takes too long? Do I hold my tongue when I don’t agree with someone else? Do I listen to another person’s view with respect and kindness? Even when I totally disagree, I need to treat the other person as I would like to be treated.
Philippians 2:3-4
“Do nothing out of rivalry or conceit, but in humility consider others as more important than yourselves. Everyone should look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.” HCSB
The “normal” attitude is “Me First.” Christ taught “Others First.”
Lord, help me to “consider others as more important” than me. Help me to consider the other person’s interests before I care for my own. Help me to put others first.
Mourning till the Morning November 2, 2012
Matthew 5:4 “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.”
Psalm 30:5 “…weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.”
The day started out like most of my days; I woke up before 6am. Weyburn and I were visiting my family in Port Huron, and staying in the basement guest room. I went out to the family room to read while Weyburn was still sleeping. It was Sunday morning, Father’s Day 2009. I was anticipating a good day of worship at church, and then out to dinner to celebrate this special day with my dad.
As I sat reading, I heard a crash above my head. I realized the bathroom was above me. A few weeks earlier, my dad had fallen in the bathroom while visiting my brother, so I thought I had better go upstairs and see if he was alright. He didn’t answer when I called to him, so I carefully opened the door. He was on the floor, unconscious.
That day is engraved in my memory. I would both like to forget, but don’t want to forget. It was a bittersweet day. There is never a good time to lose a parent, but if it had to be, that was the best day for it to happen. The next hours and days seem like a blur, but the one thing that stands out, is the peace and joy that we felt. Oh yes, each of us felt incredible loss and sadness, but dad was Home. He had lived each day with the goal of pleasing his Saviour, and now he is rejoicing.
Death is not the only thing over which I have mourned. There are many things that have come into my life that have brought a sense of loss and grief; the loss of a job, health issues, and an attack on my husband’s character. Everyone faces losses at some time in their life. God, and the words He gives in Scripture, help me to face the “new normal” that then becomes part of my life.
God’s promises in the two verses quoted today are a source of hope and joy for me.
Matthew 5:4 “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.”
Psalm 30:5 “…weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.”
Yes, the first crushing hours after a loss seem like they will go on forever. But, with the next morning comes a new day. The new day brings a new perspective, and clearer thinking. The verse in Philippians 4:4 comes to my mind with each new crisis. “Rejoice in the Lord always, and again I say rejoice!” After each crisis and loss I look for something for which to rejoice. It may not be easy, and it may not come quickly, but when I start listing those things God has given to me, and the multitude of things He has done for me an amazing thing happens.
“And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”
Peace and joy surround me. Not joy because of the loss, but joy in spite of the loss. Not peace because things are in turmoil, but peace because I know God will walk with me through it.
If you are facing the grief of incredible loss today, I challenge you to read and pray over the following verses from God’s Word. Even if you don’t believe the Bible to be true, I challenge you to try it. You may be surprised. Your mourning may change to joy in the morning. Your “New Normal” may become more bearable.
Philippians 4:4-8 (HCSB)
“Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your graciousness be known to everyone. The Lord is near. Don’t worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses every thought, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.”
Tough and Gentle; Is that Possible? November 16, 2012
Matthew 5:5 Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth. KJV
The gentle are blessed, for they will inherit the earth. HCSB
God blesses those people who are humble. The earth will belong to them! CEV
I am a product of the 60’s. I graduated from High School in 1967. Ok, now you have a very good idea of how old I am. But I love where I am in life today. I am writing this on November 4, 2012, and we were told last night that our youngest daughter is expecting her third child. We are very excited for her and our son-in-law. God has given us 13 precious grandchildren, and in a few months we will meet our 14th grandchild.
Being in my 60’s has many advantages. I have learned many life lessons. Being 60 something brings with it a measure of self-confidence. I have learned how to walk into new situations and not be afraid to greet people I don’t know. It still does not come easy, but I have learned some key ways to engage others in conversation. As a young child I could sit for hours, content just to listen to others. I did not want to talk, and certainly did not want anyone to ask me a question so that I would have to talk.
I was certainly not an assertive, aggressive, or forceful child. I enjoyed the 50’s. Everyone knew their role, and like most other girls, I hoped that one day I would be a wife and a mom with a home to care for, a husband to love and children to nurture.
But, then the 60’s dawned and with it the “sexual revolution.” Really? Was this new attitude really a revolution? Was it really the “new normal”? We can read of sex, with all its various uses and abuses in the earliest writings of history. I believe sex was certainly more talked about and public in that decade than in previous years, but I’m not so sure sex outside of marriage was new. I knew that the “free sex” being promoted as the “new normal” in my teens, would not be free at all, but would bring with it consequences that would cost me dearly. This popular attitude regarding “free sex” was one that I deliberately chose not to adopt as my own.
The 60’s did bring a measure of good changes with it. Some of the “new normal” trends were actually positive changes. The “sexual revolution” encouraged women to expand their vision of what they were capable of doing. Women began to see that they could venture into careers that included more that being a wife, mom, teacher, nurse or secretary. They were now encouraged to become doctors, lawyers, athletes, engineers and presidents of companies. They “sky was the limit.” With the expanding choices in careers, women were encouraged to become more aggressive, and more assertive.
However, with all new ideas, there are cautions to be heeded. My father used to teach us a very good rule of thumb. He encouraged us to think carefully, and evaluate any popular new trend. He reminded us that just because everyone was doing something, or accepting an idea or trend, it did not necessarily mean that it was a good thing to follow or even a truth to be accepted. I’ve found that with many new ideas, it is best to wait before “jumping on the band wagon.”
The 60’s encouraged women to become more assertive, more aggressive, and to demand equal treatment. Many women thought that to do this they needed to become hard and tough. For a teenager who was content walking to high school alone, attending classes and then returning home without ever having spoken to anyone, I needed to become more assertive. I certainly needed to develop my self-confidence.
Balance is the key. Like many thoughts of philosophy, there is a portion that is true, and good, but there are portions that are not.
The “sexual revolution” supposedly started in the 60’s seemed to be the “new normal.” However, the elevation of women to be treated as more than chattel, or property to be cast off, was actually started by Jesus Christ centuries ago. God’s Word tells of many women who displayed courage, wisdom, and leadership qualities without being brash, aggressive or “tough.”
God wants men and women to accomplish great things. Philippians 4:13 was pointed out to me on my 16th birthday by my high school friend Linda. I memorized this verse and claimed its promise as my own at that time.
I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. KJV
Today, I see how Christ has given me the strength and wisdom to accomplish things that the shy timid girl I was in the 50’s and 60’s would have thought impossible. Today, I lean on Christ and continue to attempt new and seemingly impossible tasks. It is a battle to balance the confidence I have that I can accomplish new things, with keeping a meek, humble and gentle attitude and spirit. I want to use this self-confidence in a way God intended.
The gentle are blessed, for they will inherit the earth. HCSB
Calm in the Midst of Chaos November 30, 2012
There is an assortment of things that many of us are consumed with at this time of year. I know at our house, it’s the multitude of preparations leading up to Christmas. The one at the top of my list is to have a clean home. I’m not sure why this is so important to me, but I know that when my home is clean and in order I’m able to enjoy all of my other activities and responsibilities much better. I think more creative in the decisions that need to be made and the projects that I enjoy when my home space is neat and tidy.
The next verse in our study is also a key to keeping my mind sharp and clear to be able to accomplish more, and to be more effective in the tasks that I accomplish.
Matthew 5:6 Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. (NIV1984)
Most people want to do what is right, not all want to strive to be righteous. In fact, “Oh, she thinks she is so righteous” is a phrase I have heard. Being righteous is not seen as being nearly as important as being right. Here again, Jesus’ values are in direct contradiction to what most of our society strives for.
God’s Word explains how we can be “righteous” without, “putting off” others or being obnoxious. The best way for me to understand how to be righteous in a good way is through my quiet time with the Lord. This is the time when I read His Word and search it out for how it applies to my life. It is the most important part of my day, however; it seems to be one of the hardest things for me to accomplish.
I’m a list person. I function best when I have a list of tasks before me. As I check them off I see my progress throughout the day. I need to constantly remind myself that starting my day in God’s Word, and focusing on Him, actually helps me to accomplish the rest of the things on my list much more efficiently. That’s right, “devotions” are on the top of my to-do list. Even so, I don’t always take the time every day. But when I do, God brings a peace and direction into my life that I would not otherwise possess. As I hunger and thirst after His Word I’m able to understand how to be “righteous” without being obnoxious.
I was speaking to an acquaintance yesterday and she was telling me about the change in her life since she has retired. She is trying to understand how to best use her time in this “new normal” life of hers. She explained that along with retiring from her employment, she has also stepped down from many of her other responsibilities. However, she made it clear that the one thing she has continued to be involved in is her weekly Bible Study. She gathers with others, men and women, to do an in-depth study of the Scriptures.
She has learned that to “hunger and thirst after righteousness” will fill her with contentment in this new life she is navigating. She is searching God’s heart to learn what new directions He may want her to pursue.
As we return to the Scripture passage we see that Jesus’ next words that day on the Mount of Olives were:
Matthew 5 7 Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. (NIV1984)
Showing kindness and mercy is important to our Lord. This is the second time He touched on this theme in just a few moments that day. Instructions that are vital are often repeated again, and again. Now matter how many times a person makes a flight on a commercial airline, they will hear the emergency safety message from the flight crew.
Christ wants us to be kind and merciful to those in our lives. The reward is that we will be shown mercy and kindness. Oh, perhaps not immediately, and certainly not from everyone, but we will experience it.
Test this concept this week. Show mercy to someone for whom it would normally not come easy; the jobless person you think is just lazy, the single mom who keeps having babies, or the co-worker who doesn’t share your work ethic. I’d love to hear how God shows mercy to you in return.
Jesus’ words may not seem relevant to you today, in 2012, but the principles taught in scripture are timeless. The values taught by Christ are values that bring peace and calm in a world of constant change and confusion.
And I pray this: that your love will keep on growing in knowledge and every kind of discernment, so that you can determine what really matters and can be pure and blameless in the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that [comes] through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God. Philippians 1:9-11 (HCSB 2004)
A Pure Heart Accepts an Impossible Role December 14, 2012
Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. Matthew 5:8 (NIV 1984)
Have you ever been presented with a task that seemed impossible to complete? Have you ever been faced with a situation in which you felt it would truly take a miracle to help you overcome?
Several years ago, I was asked a simple question; “Debi, would you consider letting your name stand as a nominee for Secretary of the District Women’s Ministry Executive?” If I would have known where that one step would lead, I would have said, “No, that’s impossible, I can’t do that”. That one small “yes”, however, opened up a whole new world to me. It awoke new passions, enlarged my sphere of influence, increased my desire for lifelong learning, and expanded my skill sets. These new directions led to opportunities that I would never have thought possible for me to accomplish.
Much of the world will celebrate the Birth of Jesus Christ in a couple of weeks. The circumstances surrounding His birth over two thousand years ago is full of the “impossible.” From the prophecies that gave the details of the Promised Messiah, to the announcements from the Angels to Joseph, Mary, the shepherds and the wise men, the “impossible” is recorded.
Israel had been promised a Messiah for centuries. They were looking for a leader who would rescue them from the tyranny of the governments who had dominated them.
Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign:
The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son,
and will call him Immanuel. Isaiah 7:14 (NIV1984)
For to us a child is born, to us a son is given,
and the government will be on his shoulders.
And he will be called Wonderful Counselor,
Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
Of the increase of his government
and peace there will be no end.
He will reign on David’s throne and over his kingdom,
establishing and upholding it with justice
and righteousness from that time on and forever.
The zeal of the Lord Almighty will accomplish this. Isaiah 9: 6 – 7 (NIV1984)
Every young Jewish woman knew that this messiah was to be a miracle birth, the birth of a child born to a virgin. I imagine that each devoted young Jewish woman wondered if she would be the future mother of Immanuel. She probably hoped and prayed that she would be the chosen one. That she would be considered worthy enough to be the mother of the Saviour of Israel.
The night that the angel visited Mary, Mary was asked to take a huge step of faith and accept a task that seemed impossible. Can you imagine the questions that would have been swirling through her head? What will Joseph say? Will he believe me? What will my parents say? And “Oh my, the town gossips will have a field day with this.” She may have thought, “Israel has been waiting for the birth of the “Promised One” from God for so long, will anyone believe me?”
Mary’s exact words were:
“How can this be, I have not been intimate with a man?” Luke 1:34
God was not offended that Mary had questions. He directed the Angel to answer completely:
The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. Therefore, the Holy One to be born will be called the Son of God. Luke 1:34
And consider your relative Elizabeth—even she has conceived a son in her old age, and this is the sixth month for her who was called childless. For nothing will be impossible with God.” Luke 1:36 & 38
I believe Mary was prepared for this night. She had been taught the scripture, she understood much of the ramifications, and most of all, her heart was ready. She had a heart attitude ready to be obedient to her God. She had a pure heart, and pure motives. After the Angel answered her question, Mary replied quickly accepting the challenge with a willing heart.
“I am the Lord’s slave,” said Mary. “May it be done to me according to your word.” Then the angel left her. Luke 1:38
Mary not only saw God, she was the vessel God used to bring His Son into the world. Mary had the awesome responsibility to care for God in His human form.
Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. Matthew 5:8
My deepest prayer during this blessed Christmas Season is that your heart is able to see God, His Son Jesus Christ, as your Messiah, your Saviour, your Counsellor and your Friend.
Peace with The Enemy December 28, 2012
Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.
Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake. Matthew 5: 9 - 11
This will be our last look at the Beatitudes, part of Christ’s Sermon on the Mount. In the last three points Christ addresses the same attitude. He wants me to be at peace with my enemy, but assures me that when persecuted and ridiculed; He will be with me and bless me. Other scriptures support this principle by saying I am to love my enemy.
I don’t like conflict and I avoid it at almost any cost, trying to be a peacemaker in most situations. Truthfully, I honestly don’t remember ever being persecuted, or being aware of being ridiculed or spoken unkindly of. As I read these verses over and over again I tried to remember a time when I was persecuted for anything, let alone for my belief in God’s Word or Jesus Christ. I don’t remember any time. I have read of many who have been, and I know in many countries thousands of Christians are persecuted every day for their belief in the God of Scriptures. But, I have not been put in that situation. I’m not sure how I would handle that treatment. I pray that I would trust God to guide me through it.
However, several years ago, there was a time when it seemed to me and others that I was not treated fairly. Many friends asked me how I was doing, and why was not I angry? The morning this change in my life happened, I had just begun a study of the life of Queen Esther so I was able to share with my friends what I had learned that morning. If you are not familiar with the story of Esther, there is a whole book of the Bible named for her, in which her story is told. It’s only ten short chapters and I encourage you to read it.
Esther, an orphaned young Jewish woman, kept a good attitude towards all of those who put her in difficult situations. Esther kept her heart attitude in tune with God, realizing she could not see the “big picture”, but knowing God would direct her step by step. She trusted God to guide her, she kept her attitude right and God was able to use her to save a nation.
During that difficult time in my life I took strength in Esther’s example. God would use me wherever He led me, as long as I had the right attitude. If I let the actions of others influence me, and I develop a sour, critical, and bitter attitude, I become useless to myself and others, and ultimately, useless to the ministry God has prepared for me.
We make choices every day. We choose how to handle every situation we face. Philippians 2:5 had also become very important to me. It is quoted here in two translations:
KJV: Let this mind be in you which is also in Christ Jesus
NIV: Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus
This is a challenging verse with life-transforming instructions whichever translation you read. First of all, I make the choice as to how I think, and what attitude I chose to have. Secondly, I am instructed that my thinking and my attitude is to be like Christ, no matter what situation I find myself in.
These verses and the example of Esther helped me navigate this unexpected change in my life. It was much easier to handle. With God’s help and grace, He led me to new opportunities and ministries which most likely would not have been possible had I stayed where I was.
Today, even though I realize I have not really been persecuted, I can claim the last verse in this section of the Beatitudes for myself:
12 Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you.
Remember, changing my attitude is a choice I make. Having the strength to continue making the right choices is a strength that often comes only from depending on God.
My hope for you is to have Peace with Your Enemies.
My challenge to you today is to bring a “New Normal” into your life by practising the principles Christ taught in the “Be Attitudes”.
My prayer is that your choices for 2013 come from a Discerning Heart.
Normal’ is defined in many different ways. Normal is determined by a standard that we have set for ourselves and our situation. These standards are based on the values we use to make decisions each day.
In his book, One Hour with God, Injoy, Inc 1994, John Maxwell defines values:
“Values are the things in life that are most important to you. They are the guideposts and convictions that shape your decisions, actions, and everyday lifestyle.”
“Values are an issue of the heart. They begin there and express themselves in your actions.”
Over the next several weeks we will discover what God has to say about determining ‘Normal’ and how living it out can bring consistency and peace of mind into a person’s life.
Finding My Balance September 21, 2012
It has always been important to me to do what is right, and follow the rules. Until my last year in college I do not ever remember consciously breaking the rules. However, during that last year my boyfriend and I stole a kiss in the school parking lot, and then later became engaged. On graduation night I snuck out of the girl’s dorm with a few friends and drove over to the local doughnut shop. Yes, these were all against the school rules. I must explain that the school year was 1969 -1970, and we were attending a very good Bible College.
Now as I look back I understand that as a child and teen I made my decisions based on what I believed my parents and those in authority would want me to do. Pleasing my family, obeying rules, and telling the truth were all high on my priority list. Today we would say that these were my core values; they were important to me, and guided my decisions. I didn’t realize it at the time, but with the adventure into “breaking the rules” my values were beginning to change. This was not necessarily a bad thing.
I didn’t understand the concept of living according to my core values until I was in my 40’s. Until then, I didn’t realize that identifying the qualities and aspects of life that were most important to me would be one of the most freeing things I could do for myself. Once I realized this, and was given the steps to do this, making decisions was made much easier, and my life is not nearly so hectic. I’ve learned ‘how’ and ‘when’ and ‘why’ to say ‘yes’, and when to say ‘no’.
It all began at a breakfast gathering of business women. The speaker talked about bringing the right balance into our lives. She had us identify all of the roles that we played throughout a week. Mine was extensive; wife, mom of 3 teenage boys and two pre-teen girls, gardener, cook, home maker, leader in my church, daughter, sister, daughter-in-law, aunt, and friend - all while being employed full time! No wonder I felt my plate was full and very un-balanced!
Lynn Smith, the speaker, then handed us a sheet of paper with dozens of words listed in alphabetical order. She asked us to put a checkmark beside the ten words that we would consider were very important to us. Then she said to look over those ten words and circle five that we could not live without. These were words like Truth, Justice, Family, Environment, Ability, and Independence. Lived out, each word would enhance anyone’s life. She explained that there could be no wrong decisions in this exercise. It was simply a way to become aware of why we make the choices we do. Going through this exercise was my first step in a series that brought order to the choices I made. This was my first step in bringing balance into my life, discerning “what really matters” and helping me to find my New Normal.
And I pray this: that your love will keep on growing in knowledge and every kind of discernment, so that you can determine what really matters and can be pure and blameless in the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that [comes] through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God. Philippians 1:9-11 HCSB 2004
My Anchor October 5, 2012
Normal, so what is “normal”? A dictionary definition of “Normal” states:
Usual: conforming to the usual standard, type, or custom
Healthy: physically, mentally, and emotionally healthy
Occurring Naturally: maintained or occurring in a natural state
When we look back on the history of nations and cultures, we will often see that what was normal, the standard, type or custom during one century, was quite different in the next. This resulted in a “new normal.” Styles change, technology evolves and knowledge expands, all leading to “new normals”.
We all are thankful that most of the styles that were normal in the 60s have faded away. We are equally glad that new technology has brought us dishwashers, computers and cell phones. Knowledge continues to expand. One point of truth we would have defended 50 years ago has been proven to be false today. The premise of that truth has been turned upside down. You may recall the “home” remedy popular when in the 50s was to apply butter to a burn. We now know this does nothing to help, but can actually make the burn worse. Soothing cool water helps a burn so much more.
There are trends in culture that are out of my sphere of influence. I don’t decide what New York and Paris will introduce as fashion for next year. I don’t have the expertise to contribute to advancements in technology. And I don’t have the education to aid in the expansion of most of the knowledge base that exists today. But, I do have a Source of knowledge that has proven the test of time. It helps me evaluate culture, technology and current trends in ideas and thoughts.
The values taught in Scripture are values that never go out of style, and are values that benefit all people. These values help us filter life. They are a guide to recognizing what the “standard” should be. These values help us comprehend how to achieve good physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health. God’s Word reminds that He designed the world in its perfect state - before disobedience changed the world forever. The values taught in Biblical Scriptures function as an anchor, designed to keep us from sliding, and moving into dangerous waters.
Hebrews 6:18
“We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure.” NIV 1984
Dear Heavenly father, I depend upon Your Word to instruct me and guide me to choose values that reflect Your love and purpose for my life. Thank you for your Word, an anchor for my soul, helping to keep my life firm and secure.
“Me First…Choose Me…” October 16, 2012
Remember raising your hand in school and wanting to be chosen first for a preferred activity, or to be the first to receive a treat? Sometimes I still display this selfish attitude as an adult. I want to be first. First to grab the best parking spot, first in line at the cash register, first to post news on Facebook or Twitter.
This series of postings looks at the values that make a difference in my life. I’m looking at the values that help me make right choices.
Jesus’ words which are recorded in “The Sermon on the Mount” speak of values and behaviour that seemed strange to those who heard them for the first time that day. Christ’s teachings turn many of the values that seem normal, upside down.
Matthew 5:3 “Blessed are the poor in spirit for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” (NKV)
Many scholars have debated this sermon, and this verse. Many believe that “poor in spirit” refers to “spiritual bankruptcy”. Some believe it also refers to a humble heart. I see the validity in both of these views.
When I do not reflect a humble attitude, it may be an indication of a deeper spiritual problem.
Happy, are those who have a humble, contrite attitude. They understand that without the help of Christ they are spiritually bankrupt. When I live with this attitude and spirit, I can know that I will enjoy God’s Kingdom of Heaven. (Debi’s paraphrase of Matthew 5:3)
Most of us know people who are humble, not weak or self effacing, but those who actually put the needs and comforts of others before their own.
It’s easy to respond to a national disaster. The world has seen many disasters in the last several years; 911, Katrina, the Tsunami, Japan’s Earthquake and flooding, Haiti’s earthquake. It seems that every few weeks there are reports of a new crisis. Sending money, supplies and even going to help is something we just do as North Americans. There is usually something I am able to share in these situations.
But what about day-to-day living? Do I show the same concern and patience for the person who takes my parking space? Do I wait, without complaints for the sales clerk who makes a mistake, or takes too long? Do I hold my tongue when I don’t agree with someone else? Do I listen to another person’s view with respect and kindness? Even when I totally disagree, I need to treat the other person as I would like to be treated.
Philippians 2:3-4
“Do nothing out of rivalry or conceit, but in humility consider others as more important than yourselves. Everyone should look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.” HCSB
The “normal” attitude is “Me First.” Christ taught “Others First.”
Lord, help me to “consider others as more important” than me. Help me to consider the other person’s interests before I care for my own. Help me to put others first.
Mourning till the Morning November 2, 2012
Matthew 5:4 “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.”
Psalm 30:5 “…weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.”
The day started out like most of my days; I woke up before 6am. Weyburn and I were visiting my family in Port Huron, and staying in the basement guest room. I went out to the family room to read while Weyburn was still sleeping. It was Sunday morning, Father’s Day 2009. I was anticipating a good day of worship at church, and then out to dinner to celebrate this special day with my dad.
As I sat reading, I heard a crash above my head. I realized the bathroom was above me. A few weeks earlier, my dad had fallen in the bathroom while visiting my brother, so I thought I had better go upstairs and see if he was alright. He didn’t answer when I called to him, so I carefully opened the door. He was on the floor, unconscious.
That day is engraved in my memory. I would both like to forget, but don’t want to forget. It was a bittersweet day. There is never a good time to lose a parent, but if it had to be, that was the best day for it to happen. The next hours and days seem like a blur, but the one thing that stands out, is the peace and joy that we felt. Oh yes, each of us felt incredible loss and sadness, but dad was Home. He had lived each day with the goal of pleasing his Saviour, and now he is rejoicing.
Death is not the only thing over which I have mourned. There are many things that have come into my life that have brought a sense of loss and grief; the loss of a job, health issues, and an attack on my husband’s character. Everyone faces losses at some time in their life. God, and the words He gives in Scripture, help me to face the “new normal” that then becomes part of my life.
God’s promises in the two verses quoted today are a source of hope and joy for me.
Matthew 5:4 “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.”
Psalm 30:5 “…weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.”
Yes, the first crushing hours after a loss seem like they will go on forever. But, with the next morning comes a new day. The new day brings a new perspective, and clearer thinking. The verse in Philippians 4:4 comes to my mind with each new crisis. “Rejoice in the Lord always, and again I say rejoice!” After each crisis and loss I look for something for which to rejoice. It may not be easy, and it may not come quickly, but when I start listing those things God has given to me, and the multitude of things He has done for me an amazing thing happens.
“And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”
Peace and joy surround me. Not joy because of the loss, but joy in spite of the loss. Not peace because things are in turmoil, but peace because I know God will walk with me through it.
If you are facing the grief of incredible loss today, I challenge you to read and pray over the following verses from God’s Word. Even if you don’t believe the Bible to be true, I challenge you to try it. You may be surprised. Your mourning may change to joy in the morning. Your “New Normal” may become more bearable.
Philippians 4:4-8 (HCSB)
“Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your graciousness be known to everyone. The Lord is near. Don’t worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses every thought, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.”
Tough and Gentle; Is that Possible? November 16, 2012
Matthew 5:5 Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth. KJV
The gentle are blessed, for they will inherit the earth. HCSB
God blesses those people who are humble. The earth will belong to them! CEV
I am a product of the 60’s. I graduated from High School in 1967. Ok, now you have a very good idea of how old I am. But I love where I am in life today. I am writing this on November 4, 2012, and we were told last night that our youngest daughter is expecting her third child. We are very excited for her and our son-in-law. God has given us 13 precious grandchildren, and in a few months we will meet our 14th grandchild.
Being in my 60’s has many advantages. I have learned many life lessons. Being 60 something brings with it a measure of self-confidence. I have learned how to walk into new situations and not be afraid to greet people I don’t know. It still does not come easy, but I have learned some key ways to engage others in conversation. As a young child I could sit for hours, content just to listen to others. I did not want to talk, and certainly did not want anyone to ask me a question so that I would have to talk.
I was certainly not an assertive, aggressive, or forceful child. I enjoyed the 50’s. Everyone knew their role, and like most other girls, I hoped that one day I would be a wife and a mom with a home to care for, a husband to love and children to nurture.
But, then the 60’s dawned and with it the “sexual revolution.” Really? Was this new attitude really a revolution? Was it really the “new normal”? We can read of sex, with all its various uses and abuses in the earliest writings of history. I believe sex was certainly more talked about and public in that decade than in previous years, but I’m not so sure sex outside of marriage was new. I knew that the “free sex” being promoted as the “new normal” in my teens, would not be free at all, but would bring with it consequences that would cost me dearly. This popular attitude regarding “free sex” was one that I deliberately chose not to adopt as my own.
The 60’s did bring a measure of good changes with it. Some of the “new normal” trends were actually positive changes. The “sexual revolution” encouraged women to expand their vision of what they were capable of doing. Women began to see that they could venture into careers that included more that being a wife, mom, teacher, nurse or secretary. They were now encouraged to become doctors, lawyers, athletes, engineers and presidents of companies. They “sky was the limit.” With the expanding choices in careers, women were encouraged to become more aggressive, and more assertive.
However, with all new ideas, there are cautions to be heeded. My father used to teach us a very good rule of thumb. He encouraged us to think carefully, and evaluate any popular new trend. He reminded us that just because everyone was doing something, or accepting an idea or trend, it did not necessarily mean that it was a good thing to follow or even a truth to be accepted. I’ve found that with many new ideas, it is best to wait before “jumping on the band wagon.”
The 60’s encouraged women to become more assertive, more aggressive, and to demand equal treatment. Many women thought that to do this they needed to become hard and tough. For a teenager who was content walking to high school alone, attending classes and then returning home without ever having spoken to anyone, I needed to become more assertive. I certainly needed to develop my self-confidence.
Balance is the key. Like many thoughts of philosophy, there is a portion that is true, and good, but there are portions that are not.
The “sexual revolution” supposedly started in the 60’s seemed to be the “new normal.” However, the elevation of women to be treated as more than chattel, or property to be cast off, was actually started by Jesus Christ centuries ago. God’s Word tells of many women who displayed courage, wisdom, and leadership qualities without being brash, aggressive or “tough.”
God wants men and women to accomplish great things. Philippians 4:13 was pointed out to me on my 16th birthday by my high school friend Linda. I memorized this verse and claimed its promise as my own at that time.
I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. KJV
Today, I see how Christ has given me the strength and wisdom to accomplish things that the shy timid girl I was in the 50’s and 60’s would have thought impossible. Today, I lean on Christ and continue to attempt new and seemingly impossible tasks. It is a battle to balance the confidence I have that I can accomplish new things, with keeping a meek, humble and gentle attitude and spirit. I want to use this self-confidence in a way God intended.
The gentle are blessed, for they will inherit the earth. HCSB
Calm in the Midst of Chaos November 30, 2012
There is an assortment of things that many of us are consumed with at this time of year. I know at our house, it’s the multitude of preparations leading up to Christmas. The one at the top of my list is to have a clean home. I’m not sure why this is so important to me, but I know that when my home is clean and in order I’m able to enjoy all of my other activities and responsibilities much better. I think more creative in the decisions that need to be made and the projects that I enjoy when my home space is neat and tidy.
The next verse in our study is also a key to keeping my mind sharp and clear to be able to accomplish more, and to be more effective in the tasks that I accomplish.
Matthew 5:6 Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. (NIV1984)
Most people want to do what is right, not all want to strive to be righteous. In fact, “Oh, she thinks she is so righteous” is a phrase I have heard. Being righteous is not seen as being nearly as important as being right. Here again, Jesus’ values are in direct contradiction to what most of our society strives for.
God’s Word explains how we can be “righteous” without, “putting off” others or being obnoxious. The best way for me to understand how to be righteous in a good way is through my quiet time with the Lord. This is the time when I read His Word and search it out for how it applies to my life. It is the most important part of my day, however; it seems to be one of the hardest things for me to accomplish.
I’m a list person. I function best when I have a list of tasks before me. As I check them off I see my progress throughout the day. I need to constantly remind myself that starting my day in God’s Word, and focusing on Him, actually helps me to accomplish the rest of the things on my list much more efficiently. That’s right, “devotions” are on the top of my to-do list. Even so, I don’t always take the time every day. But when I do, God brings a peace and direction into my life that I would not otherwise possess. As I hunger and thirst after His Word I’m able to understand how to be “righteous” without being obnoxious.
I was speaking to an acquaintance yesterday and she was telling me about the change in her life since she has retired. She is trying to understand how to best use her time in this “new normal” life of hers. She explained that along with retiring from her employment, she has also stepped down from many of her other responsibilities. However, she made it clear that the one thing she has continued to be involved in is her weekly Bible Study. She gathers with others, men and women, to do an in-depth study of the Scriptures.
She has learned that to “hunger and thirst after righteousness” will fill her with contentment in this new life she is navigating. She is searching God’s heart to learn what new directions He may want her to pursue.
As we return to the Scripture passage we see that Jesus’ next words that day on the Mount of Olives were:
Matthew 5 7 Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. (NIV1984)
Showing kindness and mercy is important to our Lord. This is the second time He touched on this theme in just a few moments that day. Instructions that are vital are often repeated again, and again. Now matter how many times a person makes a flight on a commercial airline, they will hear the emergency safety message from the flight crew.
Christ wants us to be kind and merciful to those in our lives. The reward is that we will be shown mercy and kindness. Oh, perhaps not immediately, and certainly not from everyone, but we will experience it.
Test this concept this week. Show mercy to someone for whom it would normally not come easy; the jobless person you think is just lazy, the single mom who keeps having babies, or the co-worker who doesn’t share your work ethic. I’d love to hear how God shows mercy to you in return.
Jesus’ words may not seem relevant to you today, in 2012, but the principles taught in scripture are timeless. The values taught by Christ are values that bring peace and calm in a world of constant change and confusion.
And I pray this: that your love will keep on growing in knowledge and every kind of discernment, so that you can determine what really matters and can be pure and blameless in the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that [comes] through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God. Philippians 1:9-11 (HCSB 2004)
A Pure Heart Accepts an Impossible Role December 14, 2012
Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. Matthew 5:8 (NIV 1984)
Have you ever been presented with a task that seemed impossible to complete? Have you ever been faced with a situation in which you felt it would truly take a miracle to help you overcome?
Several years ago, I was asked a simple question; “Debi, would you consider letting your name stand as a nominee for Secretary of the District Women’s Ministry Executive?” If I would have known where that one step would lead, I would have said, “No, that’s impossible, I can’t do that”. That one small “yes”, however, opened up a whole new world to me. It awoke new passions, enlarged my sphere of influence, increased my desire for lifelong learning, and expanded my skill sets. These new directions led to opportunities that I would never have thought possible for me to accomplish.
Much of the world will celebrate the Birth of Jesus Christ in a couple of weeks. The circumstances surrounding His birth over two thousand years ago is full of the “impossible.” From the prophecies that gave the details of the Promised Messiah, to the announcements from the Angels to Joseph, Mary, the shepherds and the wise men, the “impossible” is recorded.
Israel had been promised a Messiah for centuries. They were looking for a leader who would rescue them from the tyranny of the governments who had dominated them.
Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign:
The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son,
and will call him Immanuel. Isaiah 7:14 (NIV1984)
For to us a child is born, to us a son is given,
and the government will be on his shoulders.
And he will be called Wonderful Counselor,
Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
Of the increase of his government
and peace there will be no end.
He will reign on David’s throne and over his kingdom,
establishing and upholding it with justice
and righteousness from that time on and forever.
The zeal of the Lord Almighty will accomplish this. Isaiah 9: 6 – 7 (NIV1984)
Every young Jewish woman knew that this messiah was to be a miracle birth, the birth of a child born to a virgin. I imagine that each devoted young Jewish woman wondered if she would be the future mother of Immanuel. She probably hoped and prayed that she would be the chosen one. That she would be considered worthy enough to be the mother of the Saviour of Israel.
The night that the angel visited Mary, Mary was asked to take a huge step of faith and accept a task that seemed impossible. Can you imagine the questions that would have been swirling through her head? What will Joseph say? Will he believe me? What will my parents say? And “Oh my, the town gossips will have a field day with this.” She may have thought, “Israel has been waiting for the birth of the “Promised One” from God for so long, will anyone believe me?”
Mary’s exact words were:
“How can this be, I have not been intimate with a man?” Luke 1:34
God was not offended that Mary had questions. He directed the Angel to answer completely:
The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. Therefore, the Holy One to be born will be called the Son of God. Luke 1:34
And consider your relative Elizabeth—even she has conceived a son in her old age, and this is the sixth month for her who was called childless. For nothing will be impossible with God.” Luke 1:36 & 38
I believe Mary was prepared for this night. She had been taught the scripture, she understood much of the ramifications, and most of all, her heart was ready. She had a heart attitude ready to be obedient to her God. She had a pure heart, and pure motives. After the Angel answered her question, Mary replied quickly accepting the challenge with a willing heart.
“I am the Lord’s slave,” said Mary. “May it be done to me according to your word.” Then the angel left her. Luke 1:38
Mary not only saw God, she was the vessel God used to bring His Son into the world. Mary had the awesome responsibility to care for God in His human form.
Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. Matthew 5:8
My deepest prayer during this blessed Christmas Season is that your heart is able to see God, His Son Jesus Christ, as your Messiah, your Saviour, your Counsellor and your Friend.
Peace with The Enemy December 28, 2012
Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.
Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake. Matthew 5: 9 - 11
This will be our last look at the Beatitudes, part of Christ’s Sermon on the Mount. In the last three points Christ addresses the same attitude. He wants me to be at peace with my enemy, but assures me that when persecuted and ridiculed; He will be with me and bless me. Other scriptures support this principle by saying I am to love my enemy.
I don’t like conflict and I avoid it at almost any cost, trying to be a peacemaker in most situations. Truthfully, I honestly don’t remember ever being persecuted, or being aware of being ridiculed or spoken unkindly of. As I read these verses over and over again I tried to remember a time when I was persecuted for anything, let alone for my belief in God’s Word or Jesus Christ. I don’t remember any time. I have read of many who have been, and I know in many countries thousands of Christians are persecuted every day for their belief in the God of Scriptures. But, I have not been put in that situation. I’m not sure how I would handle that treatment. I pray that I would trust God to guide me through it.
However, several years ago, there was a time when it seemed to me and others that I was not treated fairly. Many friends asked me how I was doing, and why was not I angry? The morning this change in my life happened, I had just begun a study of the life of Queen Esther so I was able to share with my friends what I had learned that morning. If you are not familiar with the story of Esther, there is a whole book of the Bible named for her, in which her story is told. It’s only ten short chapters and I encourage you to read it.
Esther, an orphaned young Jewish woman, kept a good attitude towards all of those who put her in difficult situations. Esther kept her heart attitude in tune with God, realizing she could not see the “big picture”, but knowing God would direct her step by step. She trusted God to guide her, she kept her attitude right and God was able to use her to save a nation.
During that difficult time in my life I took strength in Esther’s example. God would use me wherever He led me, as long as I had the right attitude. If I let the actions of others influence me, and I develop a sour, critical, and bitter attitude, I become useless to myself and others, and ultimately, useless to the ministry God has prepared for me.
We make choices every day. We choose how to handle every situation we face. Philippians 2:5 had also become very important to me. It is quoted here in two translations:
KJV: Let this mind be in you which is also in Christ Jesus
NIV: Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus
This is a challenging verse with life-transforming instructions whichever translation you read. First of all, I make the choice as to how I think, and what attitude I chose to have. Secondly, I am instructed that my thinking and my attitude is to be like Christ, no matter what situation I find myself in.
These verses and the example of Esther helped me navigate this unexpected change in my life. It was much easier to handle. With God’s help and grace, He led me to new opportunities and ministries which most likely would not have been possible had I stayed where I was.
Today, even though I realize I have not really been persecuted, I can claim the last verse in this section of the Beatitudes for myself:
12 Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you.
Remember, changing my attitude is a choice I make. Having the strength to continue making the right choices is a strength that often comes only from depending on God.
My hope for you is to have Peace with Your Enemies.
My challenge to you today is to bring a “New Normal” into your life by practising the principles Christ taught in the “Be Attitudes”.
My prayer is that your choices for 2013 come from a Discerning Heart.